I have this damn song stuck in my head.

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I love this song like a crack addict loves, well, crack. This bothers me because Feist bothers me. I don't like her type of music and I don't like her bad choreography. I digress slightly because her music is really damn good, but it's just not my cup of tea. Regardless, this song is stuck in my head like Neko Case's Star Witness. Enough babble. Watch/Listen to the video and just enjoy it.

PS - This is why I love YouTube. I'm afraid to ask what age these commenters are.

This scene describes how I feel about "2 Girls 1 Cup"


2 Girls 1 Cup. After reading about it, I don't really know why I watched it. I expected what I expected and what I got was just that.

PS - People, be smart. Don't watch the shit. No pun intended, no fucking way.

I'm thinking about creating a website about all the hilarious shit I find during my porno travels. Exhibit A, ladies and germs.

NSFW! Shoot a web, Spidey!

EDIT: Sorry for those folks that were at work (RE: My homeslice, Gino!)! I'm still a baby to this thing you call the webiverse. Lo siento, amigos!

"It also saves for awkward interactions at a porn shop. I always feel that it gives away too much of my intimate little details to the random store clerk who has to ring it up. We don't even know each other's names, but now this person knows that I get my rocks off to lesbian porn, giant black cocks on tiny Japanese holes, farm girls, or girls from Dakota who like to eat Klondike bars while using Hello Kitty vibrators (aisle 4, if you're interested...)."

GaijinSmash.net is a blog about an American dude that lives at Japan and does the easiest thing that an American abroad can get: teaching English. It's my new favorite blog, ladies and germs.

So, in the last three days, I've seen 30 Days of Night and Resident Evil: Extinction. Resident Evil was sweeter than I expected. Milla Jovovich. OK, moving along.

Lemme fucking gripe about 30 Days of Night. You guys know I'm a giant comic geek. I read 30 Days of Night as soon as the trade came out and everyone was hyped because it was the comic that had gotten picked up by Hollywood before the damn story even ended. SPOILERS Abound!!!:So, why did they exempt the whole vampire conspiracy to keep the vampires hidden? Why did they exempt the mysterious black magic woman from New Orleans? Most importantly, why did they leave out the best part of the comic?

YUP, like the caption sez, the dude jumped on a fucking helicopter. With all these things missing how are they gonna have people interested in the sequel(RE: Dark Days). The movie was a drag, 'cause they didn't make the monsters scary. Shit, if you saw a vampire jump a thousand feet in the air in the movie, you bet your ass that more people would have been more scared of the vampires.

Post Script - I can also design concert posters with my photoshop expertise, mind you.

So, I know I haven't had too much sangria tonight, but the video after the jump is way fucking BIZARRE.

Basically, the clip is an interview of Suzanne Vega discussing the advent of the .mp3. The funkiness lies where the interview is supposed to be held. The internet stream is dubbed onto a Suzanne Vega avatar on the game called Second Life.* It's bad enough that "Tom's Diner" is haunting enough as it is, but damn, to have the image of an interview being held in a virtual-life game just blows my mind. The POV constantly switches between Vega's avatar and the audience, a la Vh1's Storytellers and such. My favorite part of the clip is with the demon looking guy looking around. I can only imagine going to some band's intimate setting and seeing a demon with big-ass horns while crossing his legs and taking notes, simply nodding in approval while adjusting his spectacles.



*Forgive me for calling it a "game" to all you fucking nerds that took offense to the use of the term, by the way. I'm blunt, but strive to be non-offensive to geeks around the globe. I'm a geek myself, so's I can sez that!

NOTE: I've watched this clip five times before I've finished writing this blog.

BONUS VID: More Suzanne Vega avatar action. The girl at the 00:12 mark made me snort with laughter. Maybe it's just me...

...and they aren't playing in America anytime soon!!! *Dick goes limp*

Alex's shirt says it all . =p

CrossFit had posted this image a couple of days after my blog about the chicks of CrossFit, so I HAD to show it here. YES, they can kick your ass, too. Enjoy...

"Get the fuck outta here!"

That sentence was easily the most used during the entire movie. If you decide to watch "Shoot 'Em Up", don't bring your brain. It is cliched, predictable, unexplained. This movie was tremendously worse than I thought it would be and I never had so much fun watching an action movie. Basically, Clive Owen shoots, um, "'em". All of them, actually. The plot is extremely loose and it totally pokes fun at hardcore action films. Anyone that watches an action movie can spot at least one thing that is totally unrealistic. "Shoot 'Em Up" totally throws that in your face and finishes with the LAMEST one-liners this side of that co-worker we all have that swears he's funny. That's the beauty of it, though. It doesn't take itself seriously.

Verdict? Go watch it extremely inebriated and with a bunch of friends. God, if I watched this drunk, I think I would have cried laughing. I'm annoyingly pretentious on most occasions, but this shit was a blast.

For ages, when people thought of women that were into fitness, they usually had this in mind:


That was bodybuilding, but this is CrossFit:


What I want to point out is that these girls are way stronger and way fitter then they appear. As far as appearance, these girls aren't disgusting. Some of these girls are flat out sexy. With their physical strength, one would usually imagine chicks from the first picture.

Um, I didn't really have a moral to this story. I could go on and on about how bodybuilding has ruined fitness in American, but who gives a shit right now. This blog is about tha' ladies *wink wink*! Actually, the moral is the title of this blog, I suppose. I guess I could always do: "MORAL OF THE STORY: Uh, go do push-ups."

PS - To see hot chicks kicking your ass when it comes to working out, then go to http://youtube.com/watch?v=iavq_y20thc. I can't embed it, but damn, it's worth checking out.

PPS - For more on CrossFit (EVERYONE should do this), some http://www.crossfit.com/cf-info/what-crossfit.html

After over ten years and a million horseshit conspiracy theories, I've finally watched The Long Kiss Goodnight. The action was absolutely ridiculous, but the characters were fucking amazing. I'm not going to get into it too much, though. I only wanted to point out this part of the movie. Sam Jackson, I'd vote for you for the presidency any day of the week.